Today I enjoyed a meeting on ZOOM. At therem we had a presentation about the coming autumn beautiful full moon. If the moon didn't exist, how our life could be? Or where the astronauts stepped on the moon? What craters the moon have? etc. …

On next Saturday, I am going to attend a meeting on ZOOM with my friends of the group about autism I belong to. We will talk about the website we are now planning to build. I need to talk to them about self-introduction. In other words, I …

I have never been abused by anyone. Instead, I had been bullied by classmates. School bullying is really annoying because it means that people just hate you because "You are just yourself". If you become their target, then they will bully …

Am I wrong? This morning, I had thought various pieces of idea in my head. It seemed everything was going alright. However, when I started writing the beginning part of this article on the draft paper on the table, I found nothing came fro…

I always have really weird pieces of idea... Today, during my work I suddenly thought "Oh, I've always been carrying this brain in my daily life". Although I can't see why I am thinking this, maybe it can be related with the days I had alw…

One of my female friends recommended me to read Gregory Khezrnejat's novel "Kaikonchi". That's the reason why I learned about him. Khezrnejat is an American and he started writing his stuffs by using Japanese (it is not his mother tongue).…

Today I borrowed Gregory Khezrnejat's "鴨川ランナー". This book contains two novels. Both of them are expressing the same theme. The main character is a foreigner (a native English speaker) and he has to encounter the cultural gap the Japa…

Searching For The Sea Once, when I was still young and fool, I had thought that I could be free from any nation, any place I had been born in. I can't see why I had such a silly idea, but maybe I disliked the Japanese essence in me. Or I s…

What is the certain thing I can believe? If that kind of eternal/universal truth like the rule of gravity existed, how could I find that? I'm sorry for the dear readers, because my mind is now scattered by a lot of "buzzing" idea therefore…

5つの顔 ふと、ぼくは自分自身のことを思った。なぜかはわからない。だけど、たぶんぼくはフェルナンド・ペソアのことを考えたからだ。彼は少なくとも15の名前を使い分けて彼の詩をそれぞれ違ったスタイルで書いた。ぼくは思った。「ぼくも別の名前がほしい…

ぼくの中の霊体 自分の考えをこうして書き留めていて、ぼくはぼくの記憶のメカニズムあるいは技術が謎めいた深い力を持っていることを感じる。たとえば、ぼくは日本に住んでいて基本的に日常生活は日本語を使っている。ぼくはめったに「この日本語を英語にし…

複雑で単純なぼくたち 時々、ある人たちに賢いと言われることがある。そう言われるたびに、ぼくは会社で一緒に働いておられる方がどう考えるか想像し始めてしまう。耳を疑って、ぼくに言うだろう。「あなたはいままで出会った中でいちばんアホな人間だ」と。…

発達障害者の孤独 今日昼の休憩時間に、スティングの曲「イングリッシュマン・イン・ニューヨーク」を聴いていた。ふと、ぼくは「自分自身もたぶん『合法的な異邦人』なのかもしれないな」と思った。自分が発達障害者だからだ……ぼくはぼくの生活の中で奇妙な…

外世界へ ぼくの好きな曲であるブラーの「エセックス・ドッグス」の中で、ブラーはこんな印象的な一節を歌っている。「車の中で殺人を考えた」と。ぼくは車を持ったことはないけれど、ひとりで復讐を考えたことがあるのを思い出す。そう……何度も考えた。どう…

自分というスープ いつも詩を書く時、ぼくは英語をまず最初に書いてそれからそれを日本語に訳していく。なぜそうしてきたかわからないのだけど、この事実はぼくが英語を最初の言葉と思い日本語を第二の言葉だと見なしてきたことを示している。 昨日、友だち…